This past Friday I had the luxury of being invited for “a night out at the Legion”. For those who live under a rock or just don’t know what “the Legion” is it refers to The Royal Canadian Legion. Without going into too much detail it’s basically a members-only social club (at least up here it’s like that). The Legion in Iqaluit holds a pugnacious reputation for being the spot to go to party on Friday & Saturday night. It’s one of the few places in town where there’s late night drinking and dancing so it tends to attract people from all walks of life looking to have a good time.
Finally after 7+ months living here Suzanne and I were invited to break our Legion cherries. A friend of ours requested our presence at her birthday night of dancing and we were stoked to finally be heading to the city’s most happening night spot. I heard all kinds of stories both positive and negative about the place. Nothing could have really prepared me for the lessons and revelations I came to in just one night:
- The Quiet Room really isn’t quiet. Yes. The building is divided into two sections. A larger area with many seats, a dance floor and DJ booth and a smaller closed off area with a large tv, bar and about a dozen tables. The thing is, the Quiet Room plays live music so when you’re sitting right under the speakers it’s not so quiet. However compared to the booty bumping bass on the other side I suppose quiet is a relative term.
- Dance music still sucks. Last time I went club hopping was with Jesus and some of the Apostles. Okay so it wasn’t that long ago but I recall it was at Webster Hall in NYC and I was about 16 or 17 at the time. If any of you know how old I actually am you’ll know my first statement isn’t too far from the truth. Anyway, it amuses me how dance music really hasn’t changed. Back then you had a generic megabass repetitive beat with some crappy vocals on top of it to try and dress it up as a real song. Nowadays its repetative bassy beats with crappy synthed out voices on top of it. The Whippersnappers tell me it’s cool but we all know it’s crap. No one listens to dance music for the vocals or lyrics. They just want to dance provocatively to heart pumping rhythms. Nevertheless, with enough alcohol even I found myself on the dance floor a couple of time. Thank goodness there’s no flash photography allowed in there.
- Eating a candy off a chick’s bum isn’t a bad thing. I tweeted that when I got in. That really happened. In full view of my beloved wife. In fact she paid for it and told me to do it. Before anyone gets the wrong idea there wasn’t anything dubious or erotic involved. There was a bachelorette partying going on that night. The pretty bride-to-be was clad in a very young t-shirt adorned with candies, front and back. She and her bridesmaids floated from table to table inviting willing participants to pluck candies off with their mouths for a small donation to the wedding fund. By the time she reached us Suzanne already had the money out. Being the gracious wife she is and knowing how much of a pig-dog I am she set me loose on the candies. The one I went for though was located in the no man’s land near the small of the back and upper …uhm.. gluteus area. I didn’t realize how affixed the candy was and didn’t manage to pull it off on my first attempt. I didn’t want to leave the job undone so I was forced to go in again and complete the task. I gained no amusement from this endeavor. Seriously. *snicker*
- There’s no escape. It never ceases to amaze me how no matter where you go, you always run into the same people. It makes me giggle when you see someone throughout the course of the day and not have it planned that way. It adds a whole new wrinkle to the group dynamic. You can arrive at a place with a certain set of people, hang out with another set, merge sets later on and end up closing the night out with people you didn’t even arrive with. Got to love Iqaluit.